last sunday

i wrote this article a year ago and finally had the guts to upload it. oh gosh, thanks to draft for pushing me to finally hit publish.

falling in love knowing it won’t last ,but falling anyway. trying to make every bit of every second count. holding his face in my hands. feeling his warm breath against my back as we drift into peaceful sleep. running my fingers through his soft hair. kissing him as if time had stopped, as if forever could fit into a single moment. and then fearing another day because another day means we’re one step closer to goodbye.

we cry, i cry, even though neither of us wants to make this harder than it already is. i watch him cry in my arms. he watches me cry in his. sometimes there are no words left to say. just tears that understand each other.

we fell in love knowing, from the very beginning, that we would probably never get to stay together.but we still did. and maybe that’s what makes us brave. maybe that’s what makes us human. to let someone touch not just your hands, but your soul. your mind. your body. your spirit. to choose love despite knowing it may leave you with nothing but memories.

my love,

i hope that one day you can move on. i hope you find another love, someone who gets to keep you in all the ways i couldn’t.

but if life ever decides to be kinder than we expected…

if one afternoon, years from now, you happen to find me waiting near the gate, i’ll still be there, quietly waiting for you.

take my hand. let’s run away to the place we used to dream about. we’ll build the little life we never got to have. we’ll become each other’s shelter.

you’ll leave for work every morning, and i’ll wait for you. i’ll make dinner, and we’ll sit beneath the warm yellow chandelier in our dining room while i ask how your day was. you’ll tell me about the little things, and i’ll listen like i always wanted to.

then one evening, you’ll look at me and say,

“tomorrow is sunday.”

i’ll smile before you even finish.

“movie?”

you’ll nod.

there’ll be no more nights ending too soon. no more waiting for monday to take you away. and when the day ends, you’re still here.

thank you for letting me love you anyway.